Pick yourself up.... Dust yourself off.... And go again

Have you ever played Bubble shooter? I’ve literally been dodging covid bullets for the last 3 weeks. The bullets have been firing off and the protective layers below me have been falling away. But with three days to go I haven’t got the bullet myself! I’m now on the extremely clinically vulnerable list putting me into a heightened group that are more susceptible. Chemotherapy whilst killing the cancer cells can’t identify the good cells and manages to wipe out them as well. If you’ve ever wondered why chemo is given with sometimes 3 week breaks this is because your white cells, platelets etc need to have the time to recover in between. This makes you very vulnerable for a period of time.  Now is not the time to have a dodgy thermometer. At least once a day you have to to check and obviously if you are concerned more often. A temperature of 37.5c and you have to spend the night in hospital being monitored, IV antibiotics etc. When Sam had treatment he was going to school when he was...

I’ve left it a couple of weeks to share my chemo effects as I knew I would feel differently (well in total panic) for the first one and wanted to share a slightly less neurotic synopsis! My first rounds of chemo are a drug called placlitaxcel, or taxol is it’s street name (well affectionate ward name). I’ve got 12 weeks of this every week and I’ve done 3 so far, so I’m calling myself an expert now! Taxol should be fairly well tolerated which is just as well as I’m having it every week. I get the big boys mid feb. I’ve done a lot of reading on the benefits of fasting before chemo as it’s meant to help with the symptoms and also improve the effects of the chemo on any cancer cells and protect your good cells. I’m fasting for 24 hours before but haven’t told the doctors as not sure what they would think. Taxol can cause an allergic reaction so they pump you with antihistamines and steroids first for half an hour and then the infusion of the chemo takes an hour. They keep a keen eye on you...

Today is an important day in my journey, it’s the day I decide on my new hairstyle!  I’ve been given the choice to have a cold cap whilst receiving chemo but the nurses haven’t sold it to me to be fair. Maybe it’s because it adds more to what they have to do which to be fair I get, as they work so hard. The name says it all, it’s very cold and not much fun and you have to wear it for 30 mins before you start chemo too. Believe me you don’t want to add any more time to a fabulous day! Then to hear that it more often than not saves some hair but not all, so you can end up with patches, was enough for me to decide it wasn’t for me. Plus the extra hassle of washing hair with a picc line is not to be forgotten. So onto the next decision to wig or not to wig? Well if you’re anything like me I saw this as an opportunity to have a bit of fun, so armed with my wig voucher today from Clatterbridge and my mum in tow I headed to the wig shop in Hoole, run by the lovely Claire. It was fun! So m...

It’s my first chemo day today. It’s been a strange feeling of trepidation mixed with some relief it’s starting. I’ve been wracking my brain as to how to describe how I feel. I can’t get the thought out of my head that it must be similar to the first time someone takes LSD or a similar recreational drug not knowing how they will react. But then it can’t be like that surely because why would people put themselves through that! It’s a late start for me with chemo today, 3.30pm. I get to start on plaxitaxel which I’ve convinced myself can’t be too bad as I have it every week. With chemotherapy your blood has to repair in between and your neutrophil counts have to be strong enough for the next lot. In 12 weeks time I must be having the bad boys as you only have those every two weeks but I’ll be near the end then and on countdown!. As a mum (I’m hoping mums out there will agree) 3.30pm is not really the ideal time so I’ve got to summon up the courage to ask them for an earlier slot. Wonderin...

To picc or not to picc that is the question? A picc line for those who don’t know is a small tube that is inserted into a vein in your arm and fed up through the vein up to your shoulder and then down near your heart. It’s for administering chemo through and taking bloods and it stays in for your chemo journey. You have a choice to have one in or have cannulas put in at every visit for chemo. Both not ideal but my decision was made easy. Id seen my son Sam (who had kidney cancer when he was 4) have a picc line that we affectionately called ‘Tom’. Children are given them to make the process a lot easier and also so they aren’t jabbed with needles at every appointment. I’m about as brave as a kid when it comes to needles so I put my hand up for this straight away. Plus having seen my sister Becky go through cancer a lot of time without one and them struggling to find veins, this cemented my love for the picc line. And as if by magic and to reaffirm my decision the nurses had tried to get...

  Faced with a diagnosis of cancer I was determined to do as much as I could to support the medical interventions I’m about to receive. But be warned! The moment you start this you open up a can of worms and it’s stressful at a time when you don’t need stress. Firstly I was very frustrated that I had been wearing underwire bras and putting my dove deodorant (with aluminium in) on for years not realising they could potentially be part of the problem. I want to shout it from the roof tops. Cut those underwires out ladies and only wear 0% aluminium deodorants! So now having got the dreaded C the advice I felt in summary was that I could just eat organic greens and nuts. I felt destined for a life of foraging and tasteless food and to top it off I was only allowed to eat in a dedicated 6 hours a day. Exhausting! Plus I had to have positive mental thoughts every minute of the day, exercise and in covid times not see anyone and only leave the house for a walk. F*** me it’s stressful .......

 It’s taken me a few weeks to start this blog.... I’ve tousled with what’s the point, who will read it questions and then realised I needed to do it for me anyway. So here goes......  To bring you up to speed, I’ve been diagnosed with an invasive ductile carcinoma grade 3 breast cancer. How did I find it people ask? You can hear the dread in their voice at the end of the phone and know they will be straight off to check their Breast’s post phone call. The truth is I have large Breast’s and my Tumor was deep in my left one. No amount of prodding by myself or the doctor was going to feel a lump. I count myself lucky that I had pain from it. Not an ache because that comes with the territory with big boobs, but a real soreness, like you get with a bruise. The doctor said it was probably an infection and put me on antibiotics. It wasn’t, so after a couple of weeks I was having a mammogram. Boy did they move fast then, I was impressed. No sign of covid holding us up I was glad to se...