So what’s chemo really like?

I’ve left it a couple of weeks to share my chemo effects as I knew I would feel differently (well in total panic) for the first one and wanted to share a slightly less neurotic synopsis! My first rounds of chemo are a drug called placlitaxcel, or taxol is it’s street name (well affectionate ward name). I’ve got 12 weeks of this every week and I’ve done 3 so far, so I’m calling myself an expert now! Taxol should be fairly well tolerated which is just as well as I’m having it every week. I get the big boys mid feb.

I’ve done a lot of reading on the benefits of fasting before chemo as it’s meant to help with the symptoms and also improve the effects of the chemo on any cancer cells and protect your good cells. I’m fasting for 24 hours before but haven’t told the doctors as not sure what they would think.

Taxol can cause an allergic reaction so they pump you with antihistamines and steroids first for half an hour and then the infusion of the chemo takes an hour. They keep a keen eye on you for reactions for the first 10 mins and then when they know you are not reacting get on with other patients. Or in my case for the second one, babysat me while I had a moment ......my hands are tingling, my face feels numb, my heart is racing.........which of course was just my anxiety levels spiralling. They were so lovely to me, there were no sideways looks or comments that made me feel like they would be saying ‘we had an over reactor in bay 3 today, she’s going to be a nightmare.’ And you’ll be pleased to hear I’ve nailed it now!

Night one is great, normal apart from a small headache, until about 3am when the steroids wake you up and you feel like you could go clubbing (or at my age clean the house top to bottom). But I’ve made good use of the time naturally and spent hours on social media and messaging my menopausal friends who don’t sleep either (WhatsApp is great for knowing who’s awake).

The day after chemo the steroids keep you pumped and I feel normal. I have walked 6 miles the last two Wednesdays and done other normal covid things (stare at 4 walls, FaceTime friends, watch tv and eat and repeat). 

Wednesday evening is a change, steroids wearing off I think? My face goes bright red, like when your bursting for a wee or I guess like a menopausal flush, but it doesn’t go. And then this gets accompanied with chills (and they’re multiplying, but not electrifying). All accompanied by a normal temp and need to sleep. 

Thursday - Foggy! This is the day where I have to give in and just chill out. I tried a walk last week but didn’t get very far (round the corner) and Rufus nearly had to carry me back. It’s like the flu where no matter how hard you try you know you just don’t have the energy. Plus I have chemo brain, yes even more dippy than usual and unable to remember what I’m doing, which isn’t very much!

But by Friday I’m starting to feel more normal and ready to take on the world. And that’s it so far, no nausea. I’m told the effects are cumulative so we’ll see how I go and also I’ll be reporting back when I have the rounds of the big boy drugs. But at the moment I feel like I am giving this drug a run for it’s money, well apart from Thursdays!

It’s been a rollercoaster the first few weeks of chemo and by nature of that I’ve had lots of ups too which I want to share. The best being that my son Sam had his 10 year check up post his cancer treatment and we got the amazing news that he is no longer under his oncology team and moves into the survivorship clinic! What a milestone and a truly happy ending.

The shortest day is also 5 days away, yes I am counting. For anyone that knows me well they are aware this is a significant date in the calendar. I really don’t like the dark, November doesn’t do it for me at all, but when the 21st Dec comes and in the few days leading up, it’s like a switch and I start to get my dreamy Pisces head on for the months ahead. 

Plus the flowers, messages of support are never ending and so much appreciated s and it’s such a lovely feeling to realise how loved I am.  I get treated like a princess at home. Rufus and my mum and David take it in turns to keep me company and cook delicious meals for me and Amy and Sam are making me cups of tea and jumping up to do the washing up and giving me lots of cuddles too. I truly am  a lucky lady to be doing this journey with you all.  Thank you!!!!