Extreme weight loss, do not try this at home!

Pre op weight 10 stone 7lbs

Post op weight 10 stone 3lbs

Weight of boob lost 4lbs

I know you’re thinking what a strange way to start this blog but I also know many of my friends have asked me this and want to know the answer! You may wonder why, but when you have big boobs you naturally carry more weight and I can confirm girls with big boobs can definitely take them into account when they are dieting. For all my big boobed friends you can stuff your faces tonight and thank me later for this revelation. 

In other news the op! Following a fraught week ahead of surgery where my bloods weren’t playing ball and they talked about cancelling, I was so relieved to finally be in hospital.

I was very lucky at the same time as my mastectomy to be able to have a reduction of my other boob. My consultant asked another surgeon to work with her so that they could do both for me in the allotted surgery time. So they both took a boob each! 

Waking up to a different body was strange. I now have a boob that most women of my age would be jealous of. It’s small and perfectly formed and it stays in the same position when you take your bra off! 

And then I’ve got one missing. I appreciate it won’t have sunk in yet but for now I am just immensely relieved. For me the need to remove any chance of the cancer returning far outweighed the desire to have two boobs. I know everyone is different and I think because of all the cancer we have had in the family for me eliminating every opportunity for it was paramount. Plus when you’ve been through what we have as a family with cancer over the last years all that matters is that you are alive surrounded by your friends and family with memories to make, the body is just a vessel in which to do it.

I would do the op again and again over chemo. Okay it’s not very pleasant and its a major op but it’s a means to an end. Having paced the corridors of Alder Hey for 8 hours when Sam had his op and sat nervously by the phone when Becky had hers, I can tell you it’s easier being the one asleep! 

The op itself was an interesting day. I was first up, turned up at 7.45am and by 8.15am the surgeon and the registrar had their hands on me and were marking me up for surgery. The boob for reduction seemed to pose a problem. The registrar marked it up with a sharpie and then the surgeon marked it up with another colour where she had gone wrong  and then realised she was wrong and did it again. By the time they had finished it looked like the first drawing your child does in primary where you can’t fathom anything out. Luckily I was put to sleep before I could give it much thought.

By 1.30pm I was in the ward discussing with the lady next to me her cleavage piercing and so happy it was over. It wasn’t till about 4 I thought I’ll look down my front expecting to see a large amount of dressings and was shocked to see plainly some small dressings and the outline of a flat chest and what looked like a very small other boob. I was delighted. The surgeon came round about an hour later and confirmed she’d started to close the wound and with my words ringing in her ears decided to make it smaller. I would have kissed her if it wasn’t for covid. 

The discharge nurses were keen to get rid of everyone and didn’t believe that my legs were jelly until they got me up. Probably because it was disproportionate to my banter! But I was soon settling into an overnight stay. I moved onto the night ward and met my 4 fellow ward mates. We were all great friends until they fell asleep. Out of 4 of them there was a snorer, a trumper and a sleep talker. I put the side up on my bed in case they were also a sleep walker! 

I took my revenge at 3am when the lady in the corner sounded like she was having sex in her sleep and I sounded the nurse alarm after I woke in a pool of blood, obviously bleeding to death. Well it was 2 inches to be precise and my drain had come apart but it woke the buggers up and I slipped off to sleep before they could start all their noises again.

Discharged the next day with a drain either side but with pretty little bags to put them in. Other than avoiding catching them on door handles they weren’t uncomfortable and as I wasn’t draining too much so they were whipped out today.

So 6 weeks of no heavy lifting which suits me and I get to see my new chest in about 10 days. 48 hours and I’ve stopped the pain killers. It’s all up from here and if you want to find me over the next few weeks I’ll either be in a lingerie shop or a beauticians, trying to get this body back to some resemblance of normality!