What’s the point of one boob!

In May I need to have a mastectomy. The margins when they did the lumpectomy weren’t good enough and this is the recommended next step after I have had chemo. Genealogy is yet to come back so a double mastectomy is currently not on the cards.

So what choices do I have? 

Reconstruction is available. I can take flesh from another part of my body and use that, the 4 areas being my back, my thigh or two different areas of my stomach. Great I guess if you want a tummy tuck but chemo hasn’t left me much spare.  I’m not sure making a boob out of another part of my body appeals, I don’t see the point of wrecking another part of my body. Plus I’ve spoken to someone who has and they now have pain problems in their leg where they had it taken from. I’m all for minimising pain and further issues after all this.

The second reconstruction option is a fillet which equally doesn’t appeal but I can’t have this anyway. Becky always said to me do not put anything into your body for the purpose of cosmetic surgery that is not meant to be there. As a vet she was very qualified to advise me on this. This has stuck with me and after talking to people who have had them fillets do bring their problems.

Plus I don’t want to reconstruct on an area I want to keep an eye on, something that I will always be nervous about. It didn’t surprise me to hear that only 40% of women have some reconstruction.

So I’ve decided on no reconstruction which leaves me with no boob and one enormous G boob, two very extreme ends of the scale! But what do you do with one boob? What is the advantage of one? I really can’t think of one, it’s just totally odd. But for some reason the NHS will do a mastectomy and a difficult reconstruction which is 8-12 hours of surgery but won’t just lop them both off, less than 4 hours surgery unless you have a compelling argument.

I knew all this before my chat with my surgical consultation today so had formulated a good case for removing both, on psychological as well as physical reasons:-

1. One big G boob and no boob on the other side was surely going to leave me physically wonky and perhaps even make me go round in circles!

2. If one boob is gone now my boobs are not what they used to be, lying in bed they won’t have each other to prop up

3. It is very hard to find bras for two size G boobs let alone one!

4. I’m always going to be nervous regardless of the genealogy results that I will get cancer in my second boob.

5. But mainly just why?! Why would you want just one. No one is ever going to say ‘Nice Breast’ It serves no function to me now either. It will be like having a verucas a growth I don’t want. Very needy, requiring constant daily attention to try and balance up.

6. After all I have been through I need to put it all behind me and the best way to do this would be to eliminate all potential worry.

Obviously all the above  combined with a lot more stats, examples of people I had spoken to and psychological arguments made up my presentation to my consultant this morning.

And the outcome was I am not allowed a double mastectomy unless I come back with a bad gene. Further down the line when I have had time to reflect they may take the other one off if I have good reasons as to why and by which time I will have had time to live with my one boob. However I do have another option to which I have agreed and that is to have a reduction in my other boob. I can’t ask for what cup size I want but I can request a smaller large boob or a small boob.  So I’m going to try out a small boob and then I will be able to wear things I’ve never worn before plus  I’m guessing they’ll make it more pert! Its  a while since my boobs have been where they are meant to be, so that will be great. Who knows I might even grow to like my new boob and keep it! 

So second week of may I am pencilled in to lose over half a stone of body weight. Not a diet I would recommend but nonetheless a quick win!