I’ve been jabbed!



Who knew a covid jab could be so exciting?! Whilst being in one of the top groups for a covid jab I would argue I’m also in one of the top groups needing a hug too. They definitely seem to go hand in hand. I’ll be honest covid has made this whole experience extra hard. We all know that when you are going through something life changing you need the extra support and love of your family and covid strips this away.

Not being able to see my mum and have a mum hug, which as we know are very important hugs, has been extremely hard. Not least because of this latest hurdle but also because Mum and I are also still struggling with losing Becks. And then there’s the really hard realisation that I can’t even call Becks and I can honestly say in the last month the grief has been the worst yet. Becks was my rock, my partner in crime, the person i shared everything with, even thoughts that were irrational, scary or shouldn’t be spoken.  So with all this turmoil going on I guess the reality is I just need my Mum, even at 48 that never changes.

So needless to say the hot topic since Boris’s announcement that the top 4 groups would have their jabs by mid feb between mum and I has been speculation of when.

For me the 4 people (or groups) that would significantly change my ability to do things and my mental health were:

Mum

David

My chemo nurses

Me

So first to get there’s were my chemo nurses on 15th January. I cried when I saw a tweet from Clatterbridge that they were being immunised and a picture of one of my chemo nurses. The last few weeks the level of staffing on the chemo ward has been minimal and naturally I have been terrified that my chemo would be affected. 

Next up Mum and David . They both had theirs on Friday. Like two kids off to the sweet shop, so lovely to hear the happy tones in their voices and a feeling from them that the end is now in sight. Plus when things do open up we can be confident about them finally seeing the the kids.

And today it’s me. The doctors rang me on Tuesday to let me know that they had just started the list for my group and they were ringing me to offer me the first appointment in the group. ‘What appointment would you like?’ they said, ‘you can have anytime from 8.30am on Monday’. With tears streaming down my face I managed to sob out ‘the first one please, I’ll be there at 8.30am, thank you so much’!

This jab is my freedom once allowed and I don’t mean to go out to restaurants, go to dinner at friends or even go out shopping. This is my ticket to hug my mum;  to not be paralysed with fear as to whether the kids have caught it at school; to step out of the door and not worry if someone passes me in the street; maybe even to be able to pop to the coop (when it’s quiet) if we run out of something and not dissolve in a mess in the kitchen; but mainly to remove this huge fear that if I get it my body won’t cope; to start to live again just a little bit at a time.

Plus I’m halfway through chemo, it will be easier to drag my sorry arse through the second half! I think Bo Jo will be opening the country up for the end of my chemo, bless him!

So I’be just had it and  I literally feel like I have the Reafy Brek glow now! It was a very emotional moment so many tears that when I came out Rufus thought they hadn’t given it to me! And the side effects are just like my chemo ones which is a bonus as I won’t even know I am having them!

Stay safe everyone, hope you all get yours soon!



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