Pick yourself up.... Dust yourself off.... And go again

Fate played its hand immediately and before I knew it I was under a new consultant at Clatterbridge through a contact of ours. Why? Because he’s the world leading expert in metastatic cancer that has spread to the brain! I was give. 5 days of radiotherapy to the head immediately. Ok so as the picture shows it’s not the nicest experience nailed to the bed in a mask which is moulded to your face! But when I was lying there all that went  through my head was that I was doing it for the family and the light from the machine felt a bit like a light from heaven. One week off after radiotherapy and chemotherapy started. So the initial palliative drug I was going to be out on by the other consultant was scrapped and I started carbo gemocide which is a harder and more effective treatment.Both the radiotherapy and chemotherapy shrink the tumours and I’ve managed to reduce the twelve steroids I was on to 1!which is a sure sign things are working! So I’ve got 18 weeks of this drug and then as ...

Elated by the news of the lung but now battling another what if scenario, I had been with my vertigo for a good week or so by now and my GP had already referred me for an MRI on my head which I was still waiting for. Apparently the other scans I’d had were just full body which is only to neck so head had not been done before, aaarrrgghh. More excruciating waiting but not as long as I thought. On the way back from the lung hospital I had to go for bloods at the countess, not even sure what these were for. Getting blood out of me took them 6 attempts and the day had caught up with me. I was now in the countess throwing up in the corridors and I decided enough was enough and went straight to A&E where they admitted me immediately. I knew what was happening deep down you just do. There was no escaping what I thought was about to unfold. But nonetheless I was given anti sickness and felt so much better. Then left for hours while unfortunately the whole of A&E bar one nurse dealt wit...

  Well I had a fabulous two weeks in Italy and then it was back to a very different reality. On return I was told that the lung team had seen my scans and they were far from happy with the lump. Really! Were we here again, could I really do this again. First up lung tests to check my capacity’s. All good of course, normal unsurprisingly. All that walking had made up for the fact my lung was actually hiding s tumour in it. Next up a biopsy. 6th September Just a day case and another procedure involving a scanner and needles. I’m used to this now, people coming at me with instruments under scanners.  I’ve completely normalised appointments like this which I appreciate would be completely daunting for others but my body has literally become a vessel and I’m losing parts by the minute! So the options for results of this scan were spread of breast cancer, new primary lung cancer or TB. Gosh how I clung to TB for a week, more than likely I had it, dad had carried it and I hadn’t requ...

The last six weeks have been the worst of my entire life. I have been a VOMIT an acronym used in the medical profession, Victim Of Medical Imaging Technologies. It pushed me to my psychological limits and without counselling I would not have got through it.  Riding on a high when I finished my breast cancer treatment I didn’t have a clue what was round the corner. On the 21st June at 6.30pm I got a call from my oncology consultant to say that my planning scan which I had had prior to my radiotherapy had shown 3 lumps on my lungs and that they needed to follow it up with a diagnostic CT scan. For anyone that hasn’t had cancer I can tell you your first and only conclusion is the cancer has spread. 24 hours later I was sobbing in the arms of my breast surgeon (sshhh very un covid) with her telling me she wasn’t worried about them but they had to follow them up. Conversations like this need recording because no matter how hard you try to keep the positive voices the negative ones creep...